Retired Candles

Surprise Baby Powder
Retired: Spring of 2019
Congratulations (we think) on the upcoming eighteen-year financial commitment to raise another human being. We’re so happy for you, and whoever got you pregnant. They say there is nothing like the laughter of children, especially when that laughter is screaming and it’s the middle of the night. Let the simple smell of our candle be a subtle reminder that you better get your stuff together—and soon.

Foreclosure French Vanilla
Retired: October 2015
You could blame it on the economy, but we all know that fourth bathroom and in-ground pool didn’t help the situation. Let’s face it: you had a slice of the American dream that was just a little too big to handle. Foreclosure French Vanilla is perfect for any small apartment or condo, with its soft aroma and warm scent that serves as a reminder that nothing smells quite like the home you no longer own.

Bernie Sandalwood
Re-Retired: 2020
Retired: 2016
Show your support of your favorite presidential candidates by buying Flick Candle's new line of Campaign Candles. 100% of every order goes directly to this small American business and nowhere near the candidate 's campaign funds! We can also guarantee that, unlike a real presidential candidate, you won't be disappointed when it finally arrives.
Be a hero to small businesses everywhere and purchase one of these candles while your favorite candidate is still in the running! Because once they drop out nobody's going to want this stuff. Or hurry up and buy these before their actual campaign sues us. Go America, Go Freedom, Go Flick Candles.
